We like to think we’ve outgrown the awkwardness of sex education. We’re older now, more educated, better read, with Google at 2 a.m. and endless health threads on TikTok. You’d expect the confusion to fade with time.
But sex talk has never been straightforward. For many of us, “sex education” was a mix of half-whispered warnings, movie scenes that faded to black, and advice passed down from older siblings or aunties who spoke with more confidence than accuracy.
But here’s the thing: some myths sound so real, even logical, that they sneak past our education and settle in as truth. They’re repeated with such confidence in relationships and group chats that we take them as fact without question. And because they feel harmless, we don’t stop to challenge them.
The problem? Myths don’t stay harmless. They shape how we protect ourselves, when we get tested, and how seriously we take treatment. Believing the wrong thing can put our health, our fertility, and even our partners at risk.
If you’ve believed any of these before, you’re not alone. Here are five sexual health myths that are common, convincing, and completely wrong, and it’s time to retire them for good.
Myth 1: You can’t get STDs from oral sex or kissing
There’s a reason this one feels believable: oral sex and kissing don’t look like the “high-risk” acts people imagine when they think about infections. And let’s be honest, kissing is taken more lightly; there are dares at parties to kiss, and it’s sometimes a natural end to a date. Because there’s no penetration, it seems safer, almost harmless. But the reality is more complicated.
Herpes, HPV (human papillomavirus), syphilis, and gonorrhea can all be spread through oral sex. Even kissing can pass herpes and, in some cases, other infections if there are open sores or cuts. None of this means you should live in fear of kissing your partner or that oral sex is inherently “bad.” It just means the risk isn’t zero.
The point here isn’t to scare you into avoiding intimacy, but to encourage awareness. Dental dams (oral sex condoms) are protection options people rarely talk about, but that do exist. And if you’re sexually active, regular testing is just as important whether or not penetration is involved.
Oral and kissing can carry risks, and knowing that allows you to make informed, not fearful, choices.
Myth 2: You can tell if someone has an STD by looking at them
(and the cousin myth: “If they feel fine, they must be clean”)
How many times have you heard people describe a partner as “clean”? It’s become casual shorthand for “safe to sleep with.” However, the reality is that infections don’t announce themselves on someone’s face, body, or demeanor.
Many common STDs, like chlamydia, HPV, and even HIV, can stay completely silent for months or even years: no sores, no pain, no discharge. People can feel healthy, look great, and still be carrying something they don’t know about.
Relying on “looking clean” or “feeling fine” as proof of safety is like assuming someone doesn’t have high blood pressure because they look fit. Some conditions only show up with proper screening.
It doesn’t mean you should live in paranoia. It just means testing is the only reliable check. It’s not about mistrust, it’s about care, for yourself and for the people you’re intimate with.
Myth 3: If you clean up or pee immediately after sex, you’re safe
This one is deeply relatable because it feels logical. After sex, many people rush to the bathroom or shower. Peeing right after sex actually does help, but only with reducing the risk of urinary tract infections (UTIs). UTIs are not the same as sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy.
No matter how much soap you use, showers, douching, or rinsing cannot wash away sperm or clear infections once exposure has happened. Think of it this way: sex happens internally; water and soap only reach the outside.
The belief that “washing up” is protection can create a false sense of security. People skip condoms or testing because they believe they’re already safe. That’s why this myth is dangerous.
The truth is simple: hygiene after sex is healthy, but it’s not protection. Protection is condoms, barriers, and regular screening.
Read Also: 7 Nigerian Women on Having Period Sex
Myth 4: You can cure an STD with antibiotics bought over the counter
In many countries, especially across Africa, walking into a pharmacy for a “quick fix” is common. No prescription, no tests, just a few antibiotics recommended by the pharmacist or chosen because a friend swore it worked for them.
Here’s the danger: antibiotics aren’t one-size-fits-all. Different infections require different medications, doses, and treatment lengths. Taking the wrong drug or not completing the right course doesn’t cure the infection; it only makes the bacteria more resistant. That means next time, it’s harder to treat.
Beyond resistance, untreated or half-treated infections can cause long-term problems for women, which include pelvic inflammatory disease, womb damage, ectopic pregnancies, and infertility. For men, it can mean urethral damage, chronic pain, and infertility, too.
Getting tested and treated properly isn’t about embarrassment; it’s about protection. Getting treated early prevents the potential of recurring and safeguards your health.
Myth 5: Only women suffer long-term damage from STDs
This one is as cultural as it is medical. The narrative often paints women as the ones who carry the burden: womb issues, infertility, pregnancy complications. And while those risks are very real for women, they’re not exclusive to them.
Men can also face serious complications from untreated infections: infertility from damaged sperm pathways, painful inflammation, narrowed urethras that make urination difficult, and a higher risk of contracting HIV.
The belief that men “get away with it” while women suffer is not only false, it’s dangerous. It makes men less likely to test, less likely to treat properly, and more likely to keep infections moving through communities.
Sexual health is everyone’s responsibility. No gender is immune to consequences. The myth only survives because culturally, women’s reproductive health is policed more heavily, but the science is clear: men’s bodies pay the price, too. The solution is to ensure you are getting tested regularly, as timeliness can help prevent a life-altering complication.
Final Thoughts
Sex should never feel like guesswork. Retiring these myths isn’t about fear; it’s about freedom, freedom to enjoy intimacy without anxiety, to care for your body with honesty, and to demand the same care from your partners. Your health deserves more than recycled gossip. Protect it, test for it, talk about it, and leave the myths where they belong: in the past.
