Financial growth isn’t only about earning more; it’s about unlearning the beliefs and habits that keep you broke.
Your 20s feel like one long initiation into adulthood. You are figuring out who you are and what you want, while simultaneously trying not to ruin your future with one careless financial decision. Rent, emergencies, small salaries, black tax, rising prices, lifestyle pressure, and the silent competition of social media – everything is pulling at your account.
Some days, it’s the quiet panic you feel after making a transfer you definitely didn’t plan for. Other days, it’s the mental maths you’re doing in traffic, hoping the next debit alert won’t finish you.
But what no one really tells you is this: most of the money stress in your 20s does not come from money itself. It comes from the financial habits you inherited, absorbed, or assumed were normal, especially as a young woman trying to “hold it together”.
Today, we are going to name those habits honestly and unlearn them, so your money can finally start working for you instead of quietly working against you.
15 Money Habits You Need to Unlearn in Your 20s
1. Living in “Future Abundance” Instead of Present Reality
This is what happens when you start spending money that hasn’t entered your account yet because you believe a future deposit will rescue you. The salary you haven’t gotten. The client who keeps saying, “I’ll pay tomorrow.” The loan someone promised to return. The December bonus that may or may not drop.
Many of us have mentally spent money that isn’t real yet, and it always leaves us stranded.
You need to stop budgeting with imaginary money and only plan with what has physically entered your account. If it’s not already in your bank, then for now, it doesn’t exist.
2. Treating All Expenses As Emergencies
There is a difference between urgent and unexpected. Urgent needs are rent, food, and transport. Unexpected is your laptop suddenly spoiling, an unplanned health issue, a family emergency, or losing your job.
The problem is that when you do not have structure, everything starts to feel urgent. One small expense can disrupt your entire week. Even predictable things begin to shock you. A subscription renewal pops up, your hair needs to be done again, or your data finishes earlier than planned. Nothing is truly unexpected, yet everything feels like an emergency.
That is why your money always feels chaotic. If something happens every month, it is not an emergency. It is a pattern you have not acknowledged.
You need a “fixed irregulars list”. These are expenses that may not appear monthly but recur regularly, such as hair maintenance, data, birthdays, subscriptions, nail services, skincare refills, and minor repairs. Spread them across your budget so they stop appearing like surprises and start behaving like the predictable expenses they are.
3. Believing Discipline Is a Personality Trait
You are not bad with money. You are simply relying on systems that depend on willpower, and willpower fails more often than it works. Many of us were raised to believe that being financially responsible is about being “disciplined”. In reality, it is about structure.
A 2011 study by psychologist Roy Baumeister showed that willpower is finite. Your brain gets tired of constant decisions and eventually defaults to old habits. This is why you can follow a budget for two weeks and then fall off without understanding what happened.
The solution is not to force yourself into discipline. It is to build systems that make discipline unnecessary. Automate your savings, your bills, and your investments. Remove as many daily decisions as possible so your money habits can support you rather than drain you.
4. Ignoring the Invisible Money You Spend Daily
Your real expenses are not the big ones. They are the small, automatic daily deductions that slip through without your awareness. Transport. Delivery fees. Airtime. Snacks. Data top-ups. Impulse treats. Lending people money out of guilt. It is that two hundred naira you did not bother collecting, the airtime you bought while still on a call, or the small skincare item you picked up at the supermarket without thinking twice.
These tiny leaks add up faster than any major purchase. They drain your money quietly because you rarely pay attention to them.
For seven days, record every single thing you buy. You will immediately see the waste you did not even know existed.
5. Treating Enjoyment Like the Enemy
A common money mistake in your 20s is believing that being financially responsible means depriving yourself. So you cut out every small enjoyment. You avoid outings, stop treating yourself, and convince yourself that anything that feels good is a distraction from your financial goals.
It works for a while, until real life sets in. You get stressed, tired, or overwhelmed, and suddenly one small slip becomes a spending spiral. You end up overspending not because you are careless, but because you have been operating from deprivation for too long. That cycle of restrict, endure, binge, and regret is what drains your finances.
The best advice I received from a financial advisor in my early 20s was to set aside a fixed amount every month as flex money. This is guilt-free money for the small things that make life feel normal, such as a meal out, a treat, or something spontaneous.
Once you intentionally budget for enjoyment, you stop swinging between extreme restriction and emotional spending. You give yourself space to live without sabotaging your progress.
6. Spending to Keep Up With Your Circle
Your friends may be in completely different financial seasons. Some earn more. Some have supportive parents. Some have partners who cover major expenses. Some have fewer responsibilities. And some look comfortable online but are struggling quietly in real life.
When you try to keep up with everyone’s outings, brunch plans, travel ideas, or birthday contributions, you start spending money you do not actually have. It adds up faster than you realise. One weekend trip. One dinner you could not afford. One “everyone is going, so let me not be the odd one out.” Before you know it, you are stretching your finances to match a lifestyle that is not yours.
Comparison does not only affect your confidence. It affects your bank account. And the truth is simple. You cannot build financial stability if your spending is controlled by what your friends are doing.
Start setting honest boundaries. Say things like “I will skip this one, but let us plan something affordable next week” or “I cannot afford this right now, can we choose a cheaper option?” Real friends respect clarity.
Protecting your money is not selfish. It is responsible. You are allowed to move at your own financial pace, even if everyone around you seems to be moving faster.
7. Thinking a Higher Income Will Automatically Fix Everything
A higher income can make life easier, but it will not fix poor money habits. Even people who earn well find themselves broke when their spending grows as fast as their salary. Lifestyle inflation happens quietly. You start upgrading small things because you can. More takeout. More outings. More impulsive shopping. Before long, your income increases, but your account balance behaves precisely the same.
More money does not create discipline. It only amplifies the habits you already have.
Yes, aim for a higher income. You deserve that. But build habits that can survive both success and stress. If you do not create structure, you will still feel financially unstable even when you are earning more than you ever imagined.
8. Delaying Investing Because “I Don’t Understand It Yet”
Many women believe they need to understand every detail before they start investing. It feels safer to wait, research, ask questions, and postpone the decision until you feel more confident. But waiting costs money. The earlier you start, the less you need to invest over time.
What most people do not realise is that investing becomes easier once you begin. You can start with small, beginner-friendly options such as stocks, crypto, or simple automated plans. You do not need a large amount of capital. You only need a willingness to learn and consistency. Starting small reduces your risk while helping you gain real confidence through experience.
9. Avoiding Your Bank App
This one is universal. I have done it, and so have you many times. You hesitate to open your bank app because you already know the truth might stress you. You already suspect what you will see, so you avoid checking your balance to protect your peace for a few more minutes.
But avoiding the numbers does not reduce stress. It multiplies it. Clarity is what actually gives you control. You cannot create an efficient budget or correct your spending patterns if you do not know where your money is going.
10. Running From Boredom (Mistaking Stimulation for Progress)
Some people are not addicted to spending. They are addicted to stimulation. When you are stressed, lonely, or simply bored, your dopamine drops; that is when you unconsciously look for something to give you a quick lift. Shopping. Scrolling Jumia. Ordering food you did not plan for. Picking up impulse treats on your way home. It feels like relief in the moment, but the comfort does not last.
What you actually need in those moments is not new things but new habits. Build non-financial routines that give you a sense of ease, such as walks, music, hobbies, cleaning or journaling. And when you feel the urge to buy something, pause for forty-eight hours. If you still want it after that, it is a choice, not a reaction.
11. Relying on Someone Else for Your Success
Whether it is a partner, a friend, a parent, a boss, or a “connection”, depending on others for your financial rise is a trap. Many of us were raised to expect someone to show us the way or elevate us. But financial stability built on other people’s plans is fragile.
Nobody owes you a breakthrough. You can receive help, yes, but you have to build your own ladder. Connections can open doors, but they cannot replace discipline, structure, or consistency.
Accept support when it comes, but never rely on it. Your financial progress has to be something you can sustain on your own.
12. Not Calculating the Future Cost of Your Decisions
Most financial mistakes are not expensive in the moment. The real cost shows up months later. Many of us commit to things without considering what they will demand from us long term. A loan taken without thinking about repayment stress. A car bought without factoring in maintenance and fuel. A nicer apartment chosen without checking if it will still be affordable six months from now. Even saying yes to aso ebi without calculating the full cost beyond the fabric itself.
These choices do not immediately damage your finances. They drain you slowly until you realise you are committed to expenses you cannot sustain.
Every decision has a compound effect. Before you say yes to anything major, ask yourself, “What is the six-month and twelve-month cost of this?” If you cannot sustain it, walk away.
13. Avoiding Money Conversations
One of the most expensive habits in your 20s is silence. You avoid asking about salaries, rent splits, fees, interest rates, or even the debts people owe you. You know you should speak up, but you hesitate.
Why? Because there is an innate money shame in most of us. Fear of looking broke. Fear of confrontation. Fear of being seen as difficult or rude. Many of us grew up in environments where talking about money was discouraged, so we shrink ourselves instead of asking the questions that would protect us.
The truth is that silence is a debt trap. You need to ask your partners about their financial values. Discuss money openly in your friendships. Negotiate your salary with confidence. Clarify expectations before any group outing or girls’ trip. And when you hire someone for a project, ask for a breakdown and negotiate the cost.
Transparency saves you money.
14. Believing Good Money Management Is Only About Saving
Saving is essential, but it is not enough on its own. People who only save and never invest struggle to beat inflation, and inflation in many African countries is extremely high. What you used to buy with a small amount last year is not what you will spend today on even basic items like noodles or transport. Savings do not grow fast enough to protect you from rising costs, so your money quietly loses value.
To build financial stability, you need more than a savings habit. You need a structure. Split your funds into five parts. An expense account for your daily and monthly costs. A savings bucket for stability. An investment bucket for growth. An emergency fund for security. And a flex budget for the small things that make life enjoyable.
Saving is step one. Growing your money is step two.
15. Thinking Homeownership Is Automatically the Right Goal
Like many Africans, I grew up with my mum telling me that the moment I saved some money, I should buy land and start building a house. Honestly, it is sound advice.
But for many people in their 20s who are living pay cheque to pay cheque, barely managing to save and still finding their financial footing, how realistic is it to buy land right now? Does that mean you should pause every other form of investing until you have millions? Absolutely not.
Investing today does not look the same as it did a decade ago. Many people do not even buy property outright. They lease, they run short-term lets, they co-own, or they diversify into other assets. The fundamentals have changed. You can start investing with small amounts in things like stocks, crypto, or simple digital investment platforms. Even ten thousand naira can get you started.
Do not wait until you have “real estate money.” There is more than one path to generational wealth, and you can begin building it long before you can afford land.
Final Thoughts
Your 20s are not the decade to be perfect with money. They’re the decade to become aware.
To unlearn the beliefs that sabotage you. To build habits that your 30s and 40s will thank you for.
Money confidence does not appear overnight. It grows through small, consistent choices that add up over time.
You deserve a financial life that feels stable, peaceful, and intentional, not chaotic or shame-filled.
So today, start thinking of money with a different mindset.
